I’m being generous with this rating. This book was sooooo boring until the last quarter of it, where it threw me for a loop. Maybe because I listened to it….

Dark, twisty, atmospheric fun! More to come!

Thank you NetGalley and Poisoned Pen Press for the Advance Reader’s Copy!

Updated 4.11.24

When She Was Me by Marlee Bush
Release Date: 5.7.24, available for preorder

Genre: Thriller, Suspense, Mystery
Pages: 400
Spice: Several insinuations and closed door scenes, nothing graphic
Pace: Medium overall. Some slow sections
Tropes: Unreliable narrator, plot twist in the 3rd, flawed characters, flash backs, creepy twins
Overall: More suspense than thriller, a mix of character and plot driven.
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The book had a lot of potential and I liked the narration style of both sister’s POVs but the outcome felt unrealistic and confusing. I would have probably given this book a solid 3 stars up until the reveal at the ending of the “who done it” and also the glossing over by one of the characters of another’s major crime.

Rate 2/5:
Reading the synopsis initially this sounded like something that was right up my ally but as the rating indicates it obviously wasn't.
The idea of the creepy eerie wilderness combined with twin sisters running from a secret ominous past was something I could of loved but this? this wasn't it.
The storyline was achingly slow in comparison to the "page turner" it was prophesized to be. It was like following an endless trail of breadcrumbs and while listening to the audiobook the mental repetition in both sisters head had me praying over and over again for it to be over soon.
Once you get into those flashbacks you should quickly realize that in this "Then" time period you are not in Cassie nor Lenora's head but not quite sure whose head your in, when I was about 80% in and approximately 3 hours from the end of the audiobook I realized Sarah had to have something to do with this mess. I was correct but not fully as not understanding or rather not quite guessing that she was a twin as well.
This ending would of been semi-enjoyable had it not been for the endless confusing mental back and forth, the rather repulsive twin obsession that bordered something more than sibling relation and the exhaustion I felt just being in Lenora's head.
The protection complex between the sisters was one thing and I understood it but in Lenora's mind everything was so exhausting, repetitive, and so vagrantly obsessive over any little action Cassie makes outside of the cabin. When Cassie was talking to Tilly Lenora's mindset was something akin to a jealous boyfriend. When Cassie is chilling on the porch chatting with Sarah, boom, jealous boyfriend. It actually nauseated me. When Lenora would actually bring this up via argument with Cassie when she was starting bullshit out of nowhere it was like listening to a toxic, obsessive partner whose possessiveness over you is their only leading thought. Almost a "how dare you talk to them without me? how dare you make friends other than me? how dare you like other people than the twin you shared a womb with?", this shit forreal ate at my brain and pissed me off and exhausted me in the same chapter. The crazier part? Lenora is just diagnosed with anxiety which is one of the reasons she won't leave the cabin unless "necessary" which is such bullshit. She can leave and go take a shower in the bathhouse which involves going outside but for anything else she's useless. It's honestly ridiculous. No wonder Cassie's so set on not getting attached to Parker it's because she's already having to take care of one fucking toddler and doesn't need to add a man child to the mix.
The sister's trauma is also referenced over and over again as "that night" and the referencing goes as follows: "Everything is ruined because of that night. That night this and that night that. I'm traumatized because of that night. I don't want to talk about that night. I can't talk about that night." You wanna know what, despite the trauma, they won't shut the fuck up about? That night.
I had to hear about it up until 95% of the fucking book until they actually tell you what happened. Y'all wanna know what happened? I will tell you. Their mom had enough of their dad's shit and she killed him and they walked in post murder. Cassie runs out thinking Lenora is behind her and makes it to the neighbors house. Lenora doesn't follow and helps her mom kill herself via the same knife. Cassie helps Lenora bury the body. That's it. I understands this shit was traumatic but oh my fucking god did "that night" give me a goddamn migraine. Also this whole time Cassie assumed it was self defense with the murder of their mother but nope, it wasn't. Also Lenora sees a therapist for her anxiety and yet has so many worse problems that need to be addressed but also states "at least she's trying to better herself" to Cassie like GIRL YOU'RE FUCKING PSYCHO and you're somehow better because you see a therapist that hasn't fixed any of your issues much less the one she only knows about? good fucking grief I need a drink. you're trying to weaponize the use of therapy to indicate you're better than someone. Someone who idk goes outside.
So there ya go. That's what all the dramatics and the boohooing and the obsession was about. Don't even get me started on the other set of twins. They also pissed me off.
To me, other than finding out about Tilly's murderer nothing was solved. You mean to tell me with all of Lenora's anxiety and the bullshit on why she won't go outside that post-fight with Emily she magically will go outside. -_- give me a fucking break and a cigarette (i don't even fucking smoke).
This book was bullshit after dramatics after creepy possessiveness after toxic relationships after more fucking bullshit. honestly should i make this a one star? lol.