This is an important story, and it's hard to assign a rating to that, however 
 I did feel like the deadnaming and misgendering of the authors cousin felt directly in opposition to the message the author was trying to get across. 

Book trigger warnings:

deadnaming, sexually assault, HIV/AIDS mention, hate crime, incest  

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I'm not the target audience, I'm a Black Queer women in her early thirties. This book is for YA as far as I can tell, so my opinion is below even though I'm not the target audience. Read it with a grain of salt.  

I really wanted to like this a lot more than I did but I had a few issues with this memoir. There were some really good parts that I liked, like the informational bits. There were a few of things a few things I didn't like, like the weird non comparisons the author makes throughout the book. I didn't like how this book felt like the author was writing into a journal. It didn't really feel all that polished. The audiobook narration was alright but very stiff. 

The cover of this book is stunning. 

The only time the author had emotion in his voice in the audiobook was when he thanked his college friends and brothers for supporting him. Other than that his narration was very dry and flat. 

The author credits Nina Simone when mentioning the controversial song, Strange Fruit, but the original singer was Billie Holiday. This was a small thing that irritated me. 

 TW - CSW (childhood sexual assault) 

So, chapter 11 was hard to get through because he talks about being sexually assaulted as a child by one of his relatives (I can relate). He says that being assaulted helped him figure out his sexuality and I'm not sure how to articulate the way I feel about the statement, but I don't have a good feeling about it. This chapter was basically about the author forgiving his abuser and this chapter sort of felt like an argument in favor of forgiving one's abusers. I do like how at the end of the chapter he says that survivors are never obligated to forgive their abusers, but without that little section at the end saying this, it feels as if this chapter was just pushing for survivors to forgive their abusers. The abuser is definitely centered in this chapter. Also, the author felt like he was journaling about his sexual assault so be aware.

 

At one point the author dead names his deceased trans cousin, Hope. I didn't like that at all, we as readers didn't need to know Hope's deadname. In one of the earliest chapters he talks about the importance of using one's desired name. I don't understand why he didn't cover not using one's deadname. (a non comparison)  In the same chapter he says that when he was younger he found out that his family had been calling him by his middle name (Matthew) and not his first name (George). The author goes on to compare his name situation to that of trans folk who change their names and want to be referred to as their given names and not their deadnames. His name situation was not similar enough to trans people choosing new names for him to compare the two. This section was really uncomfortable because he was trying to make a connection that wasn't really there. 

In chapter 12, he mentions the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks. I don't know why I thought this chapter was going to be profound, I thought maybe he had family who he lost in the attack or something. That's not what this chapter is about. It's literally about how he had a crush on a new boy at school. I don't know why he mentioned the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks and used it as a backdrop for him flirting with someone at school. The only thing the author says about the attacks is that everyone as his school was shocked the next day, (on Sept 12th) and that the day of there was chaos at his school. This was also an uncomfortable chapter because he just name drops September 11th, 2001 and it serves no purpose. 

I originally gave this a rating but I decided that a person's personal experience shouldn't be 
rated so I'm leaving my review up but I'm going to clear my rating.

Great book on race, identity, queerness and growing up!