4.5 stars

Thank you yo the author for giving me an ARC in exchange for an honest review

Tears In the Water is told in first-person perspective by Alex, a college student going to a sports school as a swimmer. Alex has really intense anxiety, so much so that I think their anxiety could be classified as its own character in this story. And because of this anxiety, Alex is often short-tempered, irritable, and can end up speaking harshly to others when badly surprised - which is exactly what Alex does when she first meets Tate. Alex feels really bad about how she talked to Tate, and wants to just avoid him forever afterwards, but unfortunately finds out soon after that Tate was high school friends with Alex's best friend Xiuying, and now Tate is hanging around with them almost every lunch break, and skdghllh;s, right?

Alex's anxiety is really hard to read sometimes, as it leads to a lot of over-thinking and over-explaining, and it honestly made me so anxious at some point while reading it that I had to take one of my rarely used anxiety tablets to calm down a little. But that's why I think this book does such a fantastic job at portraying what living with anxiety is like, and I appreciate that the author did not stray away from the less-palatable traits in anxiety, like how it can make you so irritable, and angry, and absolutely terrible at apologising to people (all things I unfortunately relate to).

Another big aspect of this book is identity. Tate is trans, and takes a while before he's worked up the courage to tell Alex. Alex goes through a gender crisis (been there too), and is glad to have Tate there to ask questions. We see some of the other side characters go through some sexuality crises, and a lot of discussion around these identities and the process of questioning.

Overall, it's a lovely queer new adult story!