Reese Morrison is one of my favourite authors, and I was SO excited when they mentioned this book in their newsletter a few months ago. So I was very excited to apply for the ARC and get accepted for it. I'm happy to say I really loved this.

I'm not going to take time re-hashing what the book is about, because the synopsis and other reviews do a good job of that. I'm going to talk specifically about the parts that resonated with me personally.

Mateo is a fantastic character, and I loved seeing him become comfortable in his exploration of kink and gender. There were some bits that really connected with me. The first, in chapter 2, when Mateo arrives at the resort (run by the characters from All Tied Up - I loved how big of a part they had in this story as supporting characters), he sees Jamie wearing a skirt and makeup and reacts by freezing in place. There's a bit I really loved that brought tears to my eyes:

Spoiler

"What are you into, Mateo?"
Mateo blinked at the directness of the question. "I don't know," he finally chocked out.
Jamie's voice softened. "Hey, first time doing something like this?"
Mateo nodded. "I won the prize." That was obvious. Jamie had just checked him in. "I probably wouldn't have come otherwise."
"I've got you, boo. Any questions you have, just ask. Makeup tips, kinky insights, bosom buddy to spill your secrets to... You've got a friend here."

I loved this because Mateo has so much anxiety and internalised-homophobia, but despite that he's trying to reach out and make connections. Find community. And the first person he meets offers him this friendly hand. This bit just felt like a warm hug.

Then there's another bit in chapter 13, where Mateo is curious about gender exploration and Austin tells him they can go talk to Jamie and Sebastian to get some first hand information from them, and so they go and sit in the dinning room at the resort, and a lot of different people that are there tell Mateo about their gender explorations - from the men that are wearing lingerie under their clothes, to a trans man talking about how he figured out he was trans, to Sebastian talking about being agender. And Jamie and Neil interject around what Sebastian says, and there was a line that Mateo thought:

Spoiler

It wasn't just that all of these people could play with their gender and pretty clothing. It was that there were people who loved them for it.

And then, chapter 14, where Mateo is trying on the lingerie Austin bought him, and he's looking at himself in the mirror wearing pretty clothes for the first time since he had tried on his sister's clothes when he was 10 and got made fun of for it:

Spoiler

He found himself grinning in the mirror, even as the light split into crystal shards of rainbow from the liquid that he refused to acknowledge in his eyes."

Chapter 16, when he's put makeup on for the first time:

Spoiler

He felt like he was in love.
With himself.

God, my heart

I loved going through this exploration with him. It felt so, SO important to me, and I'm so grateful that Reese shared this beautiful story with us.

And I don't want to leave Austin out either. He's also a fantastic character, and he goes through his own growth in the story. He's given up on kink after a bad break up, but it's only through talking to his friends that he realises he was actually in an abusive relationship. He's lost all joy in his job, and it takes in time to realise he's depressed and might need to decide if he wants to leave his job.

Watching Austin go through these realisations and step forward to find ways to fix his life was beautiful too. And at the start of the book he says he's not into Daddy kink, but Mateo changes that for him. So while Austin is mentoring Mateo to help him find his place in the kink-community, Mateo also helps Austin find new joys in life, and a new kink that he loves.

So, yeah. Absolutely adored this book, 5 stars hands down.