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A review by bella613
The Lady's Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness by Sarah Ramey
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
I checked this book out with my best friend in mind, and very quickly saw three of my sisters, another friend, coworkers, and even myself in the description of WOMI.
This book is so important. There were a few small things I didn't necessarily agree with but then the author circled back and clarified, and it clicked. We all have misconceptions and biases and prejudices toward others, and toward ourselves. And learning how to advocate for your own health is an opportunity for growth that I have yet to feel truly grateful for, even though I fully comprehend the ways it's made me better. This book, and the authors life tale, is a story of searching, a story of pain and misunderstanding, of being left behind and overlooked... but it's also a story of self discovery and fighting for our communities. A story of hope. And I recommend it to everyone.
I will mention: I hate the description of the book. (This is not a criticism of the book or author but I want to add some stuff here for those who might just read the description or the first bit of the book, and feel like I did at first) The description doesn't summarize the book all that badly, but it takes what she said about doctors dismissing her and not listening to her, and changes that into "they thought she was crazy". I hate this because I AM, arguably, clinically crazy. I very much dislike the phrase "all in her head". Not because it's unfairly putting down the patient (which it is) but mainly because it strongly implies that psychological maladies are somehow less-- less serious, less urgent, less physical, less believable, less important, less painful. It is, obviously, silly to say that a broken axle on a car is an engine problem. But the engine runs the car and isnt underestimated. I hope that anyone with psychological symptoms can also see themselves as WOMI/MOMI. I see myself, just like the author, as level 4-5 depending on the day or week or month. And I do not have a physcial mysterious illness. I dont have an auto immune disease, or a parasite, or fybromyalgia or SIBO or POTS or chronic pain. But my body is attacking itself and I am often dismissed by doctors who have said "perfection is the enemy of good" (translate: you're not dying so deal with it) The brain is arguably the area that gets the most abuse and sickness in a person's lifetime and has the most serious issues. It's clear that the brain is part of the body and psychological and physical symptoms go hand in hand. The author does a good job of mentioning that often a patient can tell if their problem originates in brain or body, and should be trusted. But many symptoms mentioned of the WOMI are caused by psychological factors (not even gonna bring up eating disorder stats, when speaking of gut issues, but MANY ED patients regularly and compulsively lie to their doctors and the doctors who blatantly accept these lies are doing more a disservice than those who look into it for themselves imo) Since she writes of her own struggles which don't include much for psychological diagnoses, I wanted to include these thoughts.
Just because depression, anxiety, ED'S, and other psychological problems together affect nearly the entire population doesn't mean that a doctor should prescribe an antidepressant or sedative to every patient with nonspecific complaints and move on. But it isn't always entirely off the point to look into brain chemistry when experiencing physcial symptoms, and doctors who do so are not bad doctors. Of course patient history, symptoms, and responses to medication should be the first indications, not statistics. But the main thing I want to say that the book does not, is that patients who experience these psychological problems have the same "journey in" as other WOMI's and may have just as much a struggle getting a real solution. If this is you, I see you. I hear you.
This book is so important. There were a few small things I didn't necessarily agree with but then the author circled back and clarified, and it clicked. We all have misconceptions and biases and prejudices toward others, and toward ourselves. And learning how to advocate for your own health is an opportunity for growth that I have yet to feel truly grateful for, even though I fully comprehend the ways it's made me better. This book, and the authors life tale, is a story of searching, a story of pain and misunderstanding, of being left behind and overlooked... but it's also a story of self discovery and fighting for our communities. A story of hope. And I recommend it to everyone.
I will mention: I hate the description of the book. (This is not a criticism of the book or author but I want to add some stuff here for those who might just read the description or the first bit of the book, and feel like I did at first) The description doesn't summarize the book all that badly, but it takes what she said about doctors dismissing her and not listening to her, and changes that into "they thought she was crazy". I hate this because I AM, arguably, clinically crazy. I very much dislike the phrase "all in her head". Not because it's unfairly putting down the patient (which it is) but mainly because it strongly implies that psychological maladies are somehow less-- less serious, less urgent, less physical, less believable, less important, less painful. It is, obviously, silly to say that a broken axle on a car is an engine problem. But the engine runs the car and isnt underestimated. I hope that anyone with psychological symptoms can also see themselves as WOMI/MOMI. I see myself, just like the author, as level 4-5 depending on the day or week or month. And I do not have a physcial mysterious illness. I dont have an auto immune disease, or a parasite, or fybromyalgia or SIBO or POTS or chronic pain. But my body is attacking itself and I am often dismissed by doctors who have said "perfection is the enemy of good" (translate: you're not dying so deal with it) The brain is arguably the area that gets the most abuse and sickness in a person's lifetime and has the most serious issues. It's clear that the brain is part of the body and psychological and physical symptoms go hand in hand. The author does a good job of mentioning that often a patient can tell if their problem originates in brain or body, and should be trusted. But many symptoms mentioned of the WOMI are caused by psychological factors (not even gonna bring up eating disorder stats, when speaking of gut issues, but MANY ED patients regularly and compulsively lie to their doctors and the doctors who blatantly accept these lies are doing more a disservice than those who look into it for themselves imo) Since she writes of her own struggles which don't include much for psychological diagnoses, I wanted to include these thoughts.
Just because depression, anxiety, ED'S, and other psychological problems together affect nearly the entire population doesn't mean that a doctor should prescribe an antidepressant or sedative to every patient with nonspecific complaints and move on. But it isn't always entirely off the point to look into brain chemistry when experiencing physcial symptoms, and doctors who do so are not bad doctors. Of course patient history, symptoms, and responses to medication should be the first indications, not statistics. But the main thing I want to say that the book does not, is that patients who experience these psychological problems have the same "journey in" as other WOMI's and may have just as much a struggle getting a real solution. If this is you, I see you. I hear you.
Graphic: Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, and Gaslighting