his book just busted my heart OPEN and i am now in a million pieces. wow wow wow.

first of all— adelaide has been my #1 future baby girl name since i was a kid, so i instantly loved this one purely for the title.

secondly— i have never— NEVER— seen so much of myself in a character. so many scenes from this book could have been straight from my own life. and i say that with heaviness, because they are the things of pain and abuse, deep depression and grief, mental illness, wrestling with shame and just wanting to be done with it all.

half of my tabs as i read flagged things that broke my heart, made me cry, made me remember, brought back the anger and grief and remnants of my own abuse. and half were things that gave me hope, felt like love, were glimmers of goodness and joy and light and beauty. this book felt like such a twist of both.

i don’t know if i can find adequate words for what this book meant to me. for how beautifully adelaide’s story unfolded, even alongside (and because of, and in response to) the total bullshit thrown at her from other people who claimed to but didn’t love her. for how it feels to find a character so like yourself, and to see her not only survive, but heal, and come to find love for herself. for how it feels to be reminded that the same can be true for you, too.

what a gift. what a story. what a character.

thank you, @geewheeler, thank you.